Me and My Manly Memory

Apparently, my wife has an immaculate memory. Not only does she remember every word she has said to me, she remembers things she thinks she says to me with such detail that they actually seem real.

Let me just paint the scenario here. A few weeks ago Katy mentioned in passing that my sister's birthday was coming up. This is good, but she and I both know that I wouldn't remember that. We have an unspoken agreement that I can barely remember which way to turn my pants before I put them on. I don't have the best memory.

So, My sister's birthday came and went and I did nothing. After the day was over, Katy told me how she had reminded me three times. This I didn't remember.

She proceeded to tell me that she had told me three weeks ago, three days ago and the day before. This I didn't really remember. Now most times, if Katy tells me that something happened the day before, I will remember it. I had nothing, though.

So, I did what any self-respecting person would do. I denied it. Once she told me, I remembered being told three weeks prior. But the day before? I still don't think it happened.

We discuss this back and forth and I still can not remember any time in the previous 24 hours where my sister's birthday was discussed. I tell her this and Katy responds, "Well of course you don't! You have a man's memory!"

Now, Katy has referred to other aspects of my life as manly, but this is the first time it was ever my memory that earned that title.

I have a "man's memory."

It is good to have a manly voice. A manly grip can help open up the jar of peanut butter. I just don't think a manly memory is that great of a compliment.

At this point, I would mention great men in history whose memory was very sharp and accurate. However, I can't think of any.

What were we talking about?

Planning for the Inevitable

Well, here I am again writing another blog. And I would like to talk about a subject that has been on my mind a lot. Zombies.

Now, this all started a few years ago when I worked the night shift. I would be in the seasonal department stocking rakes or other tools and I would think, "Yeah. This could be used as a weapon." I pointed this out to one of my co-workers who said that it could be used to fight off zombies.

What a great idea! From that point on, I was wondering what would happen if zombies did attack. Would I use the ax or the rake? Would an acetylene torch be effective?

When I was moved to day shift, I began discussing this with my friend DJ. He, too, began mentioning some interesting points. Where would we get our food? What power supply would we use?

We ultimately decided that the hardware store where I work would be an excellent location. It in itself had a great supply for building barricades and other defensive structures. It was close to a sporting goods store that holds many offensive weapons such as knives, baseball bats, and guns. The hardware store was also near a grocery store that could supply us with a large amount of canned goods and nonperishable items.

We figured with that layout, we could hold off a zombie invasion for a considerable amount of time. The spacious warehouse could even provide room for a colony of survivors; those willing to work together to survive.

Now, anyone reading this may think that this is just a silly thought by a few guys that happen to be bored at work. This is not true. Recently we had a new employee named Hunter transfer in from a Virginia store. We mentioned the zombie plan to him and he got very excited. He had made up a similar plan with friends at his old store.

DJ and I have also discovered that there are several books on the subject. Max Brooks has written both a guide and a fictionalized account on the subject. I am currently reading the novel. It is a collection of short stories of people all over the world fighting for survival throughout the conflict.

So, it's not just some crazy idea that has come about from working on too little sleep. Maybe, just maybe, it's a problem one should look into.

Misguided

Well... here it is. I am starting my own blog. At first, I will admit, I was a bit reluctant to create a blog. I was not too excited about sharing intimate details about my life to anyone who happens to look at my page.

Though, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Though I'm not doing the typical blog. I don't want to write about how my day was, or what I had for breakfast.

No; instead, I will write about conversations I have with people. I will write about my perspective on life. And yes, I will write about events that happen to me, but not in typical blog style.

For example, let me talk about my wife Katy. I love Katy very much. But never EVER get directions from her.

A few days ago, we were driving around, and she was telling me where to go. I am terrible with directions, and at times, I need direction. All I ask is for a simple left or right. Not this way, that way, here, there, or any other words that are completely nonspecific.

We were driving down the road, and Katy says turn here.

Okay. which way?

This way. (I start to turn right.) No! Not that way! This way!

So which way is this way and which way is that way? If this way is not that way, then which way is it?

I get so confused.

Also, I would like to remind my wonderful beautiful wife who encouraged me to write my blog that this was a topic that she recommended to me.

I love you Katy.